Best new years eve jokes, Funny new years eve jokes, Happy new year 2015 hd

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best new years eve jokes

Best New Years Eve Jokes

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. 

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'

'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'

The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

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The owner of a golf course is confused about paying an invoice, so he decides to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and says, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'

The secretary thinks a moment, and replies, 'Everything but my earrings.'

A group of Alabama friends go deer hunting and pair off for the day. That night, one of the hunters returns alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others ask.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replies.

'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?'

'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'

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The Sheriff pulls up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replies.

"That's why I am dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine for dumping garbage.'

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A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana 'When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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The young man from Mississippi comes running into the store and says to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'

Bubba replies, 'Did you see who it was?' The young man answers, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

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A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D. ?' The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

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